Emotional Anyone?

Ok I think I officially feel crazy. I know I have hormones racing through me, but I don't feel any different. I feel even tempered through the day, so when I finally do come to a breaking point and start to freak out about what happens when this baby is born? What if it doesn't love me? All babies I have ever met have a natural instinctual fear of me, I know my baby is going to have that same instinct! I am not very maternal, wait what am I saying, I am NOT maternal at all! Tears streaming down my face and poor Husband just laying there not really knowing what to do or say to calm this insane person who is laying next to him. I know he must be thinking surely this is not my wife. Someone must have switched bodies with her, because yesterday she was very excited about the baby and was obsessing over names.

Now I always heard the stories about the hormones taking women on emotional roller coasters, but I just figured when it happened to me I would feel something different inside so that I would know it was hormones. I don't know exactly what I expected it to feel like, but I mean something. Maybe like after having a few drinks and you start to feel the lightheaded buzz feeling. That what I could feel it coming on and prepare myself....Ok here comes the wooziness and after that the tears, so I can warn my husband. Or at least explain it to him when he is looking at me with those concerned eyes like are you going to be ok, I can just say yes its hormones give me 5 minutes it will pass.

But no this is not how it happens. Hormone induced emotions feel the same as any other emotion so you aren't sure. Do I really feel like I am going to be the world's worst mother? Do I really feel like I am going to be the only person to give birth that doesn't immediately have maternal instincts for her child? Is it a real fear that my kid's head will be as big as an adults?

So I now that I think I am thinking with a clear head I some what know those are all irrational fears. Well except the head thing. (I have a huge skull). I know that I already love my child, and that because it is growing in me, it's need to bond with me will be immediate. It will be my voice it hears most through its days in the womb, so it will be my voice that comforts it when it is born.

I guess I will just have to keep reading this post over and over again until the child is born.