Friends and their Wisdom

I love how most of my friends who are already mothers make it seem like the whole thing was a breeze. It was the best experience in the world. I am sure having the child is the most rewarding thing in the world, but do they forget I was around them the 9 months before the kid was born?

I don't completely recall them having the times of their lives while the were pregnant. I do have one friend who I love to death. She is completely honest about the whole thing. We were recently speaking about all the early symptoms and how much "fun" they are. She got a good laugh because her daughter is now 18 months and those days are behind her for now.

After the memories she warns me of what to expect in the coming months. Now I was around her for the later stages of her pregnancy with her daughter. I remember how miserable she was. She hates being pregnant, and she will share her feelings on it with anyone who will listen. That mostly consists of the other wives who have yet to experience any of this.

I think she must realize that she doesn't want to totally discourage us from having kids of our own, because she LOVES being a mother, just not the whole part you have to do to get there. So after all her horror stories of pregnancy she always finishes off with the phrase, "but I am probably not the person you should talk to about pregnancy, because I hate being pregnant!"

But she is exactly who we all need to talk to before we embark down this path. Someone who will tell us like it is. Who will tell you "yeah that is only gonna get worse when the baby starts getting bigger" when you tell her about how tired you are, or how often you run to the bathroom. I can so appreciate this honestly more than the general comments I get from other people.

I don't want to hear the "yeah but just think about how happy you will be when you see the baby" (luckily I have not heard this one yet) or the "but it's all worth it in the end" or the worst of all which again I have not had to hear "I don't know what you mean, I loved being pregnant, and you should enjoy everything you are going through because it all means your baby is growing and developing inside you"

I don't know anyone who enjoys being sick. I know I certainly don't. I hate being sick for one day let allow weeks at a time. Why would I enjoy that just because its a symptom of my child growing inside me? Now I do enjoy having and excuse to sleep all day, but that is about where the enjoyment ends for me.

I am sorry its just not fun to wake up 3 or 4 times during the night to have to pee. Or to wake up feeling like all you want to do is hurl, but maybe if you eat it will feel better, and then eating to find out that nope now its worse. Or to crave something so bad, and to actually be able to get it, to find out that it makes you sick. Have I mentioned everything I really really crave is not available to me here. Even if I was to cook it at home, I can't find the ingredients here. I settle for making everything spicy. No this part is not fun!

I do know that when I have the baby, that part will be fun. I still remember the births of the children of the last few friends I was lucky enough to be there for, and how cute their kids were, and how my friends beemed when they held their child. I do look forward to that, and hey maybe all my optimitic friend's are right and once you hold your child these first few months of pregnancy just slip from your memory.